Celebrity Fuckfest

Yes. I haven't updated this thing in, like, aeons. I know. Then again, I've been busy doing other stuff. It happens.

Anyways, I had a messy day, and am now sitting here borer. What better way to treat this than by messing up my personal bit of webspace in ways only I can think of. And when I say only me, I actually mean, every blogger out there tying their hardest to get rid of their boredom. I say, write a rant.

Only, yeah, what about, really. I can't write about work (NDA and all), and I can't bitch about a lot of stuff yo may find in the least interesting - like how my wireless keyboard has a short delay and has the tendency to swallow letters, making the posting of this post last longer than I'd like it to be - as that would be boring. So here's a thought.

You bunch tell me what you want to hear. I'll answer as much as I can, but I will not guarantee an answer you will like. It might not even be remotely useful. But helping people is tiring - I do it all day long - and sometimes you just want to go mad and let loose, you know?

So pretty much anything goes. I'll answer. Just don't expect the cure for cancer, sure-fire stock exchange tips, or the answer to the meaning of life.

There are two ways to do this:

My e-mail below this thingy (yeah, I know, never hand out e-mails... Die, good advice! DIE!), or the comments. Pick one.

And good luck.

See ya!

Today's post!

Long time no post. Yes. Yes, indeed. Yarrrr, even. Ahem... Got carried away there.

I still have to reveal my new occupation, I just figured. For those that haven't seen my profile, anyways. Well, maybe at the end of this post or something. I wouldn't want you to run away on me.

Not a hell of a lot of spare time, these days. Work, hobby's, and an attempt at something that looks vaguely like a social life means that I don't have a lot of time on my hands. Add to that the fact that a lot of the time I do have on said hands is spent moving stuff around right now, and you might possibly be prepared to imagine that I'm pretty much, well, shat, to say it bluntly. *dunno why people insist on using pooped, but hey*

But still, I'm gently trying to realign myself so that I fall nicely in my own little rhythm. I still have a trick up my sleeve as far as that spare time-thing is concerned, so, Incas of Emergency, I can always do that.

That, and, you know, stuff.

My little Necwomancew is turning out nice and evil. *whoopsie - giggle*

He's my first character to outright murder someone. And that on a Wednesday! My previous Wednesday was all about not doing anything violent. Sure is a change to go for the deranged necro hunting for ultimate arcane power, but the big question is: will the party survive being around me for long enough? I need to turn them into undead, but not just yet... I want to do that myself!

Great stuff, though, the little guy has absolutely no social life but for his cat. Sweet. I now have a character who has an excuse to not do something when he doesn't agree with it. Or do something when no-one else does.

Back on track, though. Life and stuff based off it. Yes, that is what people want, not some random mumbling about a roleplaying character. Even if he happens to be Evil.

My job: I work for the government now. It's technically temp, but still, it's work. For the tax-agency, no less. But not that I'm actively collecting money, no, if only it were so. No, I'm on the dispencing side of it, making sure that people get their rightful cut of income-dependent-fundings. Call 'em the Robin Hood of taxes, taking from the high incomes and redistributing among the low-life, good for nothing pieces of... Oh, sorry, I meant to say, of course, the needy.

Well, so much for today's update.

See ya!

Random fans hitting shit - or something like that.

What is this day supposed to taste like?

***

New job coming up soon! Woohoo! More details as the specifics come up - also known as later.

***

All in all, I'm saddened that Roshni is nearing the end of her current campaign. She just got herself a nice little pet...

There's a new campaign coming, though, and Thanatos is going to fill her space. He is a Necromancer, and a weird one at that. Hey, it takes all kinds, right?

***

Does anyone have a cookie?

***

See ya!

Kiki's Delivery Service

Mghblêah! I know, I just don't feel like much right now. Rhythm totally wrecked from France trip, rough weekend coming up, etcetera ad infinitam. Should be doing some stuff around here, though. Been way too long, really. Oh well, fuck it, here goes the llama!

The Wii. I've been hogging it since December 8th. It's great - all you could have wanted from it, so far. Wii Sports is great fun, better than I expected. Super Monkey Ball is fun to do, although still hard as a diamond-encrusted piece of granite, Rayman is okay in short bursts, Zelda is either proof that I've played too many Zelda titles or that I should have been playing in a different language, though - not all that much of a challenge. Great fun, yes, but difficult? Hardly, I'm sad to remark. Red Steel had me fighting with the 'mote, Wii Play is, in the end, only a tech-demo. All that, I would say, makes for a while in gaming, considered.

Then, there's the Virtual Console. Don't even try to get me started on that, now. The potential is endless, and a good start has been made - already available are Super Mario Bros., the original Legend of Zelda, Sonic, and that's not even mentioning stuff like SimCity and the like. And lest I forget, the 5-player wonder that is Bomberman '93 - the most active multiplayer game on my Wii is, indeed, a retro title. I'd say that's proof enough that Nintendo were on to something here. Now the wait is just for Super Mario Kart. I mean that literally, though, as in, I want the original, which is, of course, still by far and large, The Best Mario Kart Ever. Ah well.

Otherwise, well, just, you know, stuff. Shit all over, large piles of junk scraping through my cranial area disturbing the peas, and stuff, you know. Just a big mushy mess and all. You know. Bugger.

Guess that whole winter-depression-thing got here after all - even though I've barely seen anything close to winter so far this year, or the end of last. That is, by the commonly enforced calendar, that is. I have seen fucking monsoon, though, and guess what, I even voluntarily peddled through it's infernal dribble today. Pun fully, thoroughly, and obnoxiously intended.

Haven't slept last night. Went roleplaying immediately when home from France, back in town at 00:30, back in home at 02:30. Caught up on my dormant internet shit, messed around, haunted some of my usuals for the first in a week, you know, the usual. Horizontally teleplanted myself in the general direction of some VG-store in the morn, only to be wetter upon arrival as is usually the case in these extreme windy rainfall moments. Still, I could all but sail there, which at least should count for something.

Thank Her Hooved Holiness, the Invisible Pink Unicorn, for Kawaii radio, though, as I would have gone insane without it's consistent support these past 20-minus-the-time-away-hours.

Ah dang.

See ya!

Spam FTW!

All right. Here goes: The dissection of a spam e-mail. Note that I changed nothing, only added comments. You can recognize those easily. They're the parts not shouted out loud (i.e. CAPS LOCK) as if being read to the hard of hearing. Oh, and it's the parts that have actual interpunction.

DIRECTOR OF THE ACCOUNTS AND RECORDS DEPT.
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO,
WEST AFRICA.

Well. The African Development Bank, I'll be damned. They were founded in 1964, to help social and economic development in African countries. Wonder what on Earth they need me for.

DEAR SIR,

Well, it got the gender right. That's an improvement over some, but it still lacks a name.

I AM PLEASED TO WRITE AND INTRODUCE MYSELF AS THE ABOVE DIRECTOR INCHARGE OF
RECORDS AND ACCOUNTS OF THIS BANKING INSTITUTION.

I'm pleased to write too. It's been a while, and I should have done it more often. But I have already introduced myself - in fact, you seem to know me, otherwise you wouldn't have contacted me. Now, remind me, what was your name again? The Above Director? Is that a regular African name? And you're "incharge", aren't you? What's that? My dictionary doesn't recognize it, although it does give some interesting alternatives. Enlarge? 19-inch rack?

Also, I appreciate your pointing out it being of this banking institution. You just capslocked it as me a short while ago, so surely, I must have forgotten what you were talking about already.

MY REASON OF WRITING THIS LETTER TO YOU IS IN CONNECTION WITH A VERY
LUCRATIVE BUSINESS AT HAND WHICH I BELIEVE THAT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN DOING WITH ME.

A very lucrative business? Wow! Golly, sure, I'm interested. I always want to talk business with people sending me mail in a style which puts 9-year olds that use it in a very specific box aptly named "ignore".

I WRITE WITHOUT THE LEAST INTENTION OF BRINGING ANY EMBARRASEMENT TO YOU, THIS IS NO JOKE SO PLEASE TREAT EVERY LINE OF IT WITH UTMOST SERIOUSNESS.

Oh, trust me, I will. Do you see me laughing? I don't even know what a sense of humour is!

TRUSTING IN YOUR GOOD INTENTION TO ELEVATE YOUR SOCIAL STANDARD ,I THEREFORE ASK YOU TO READ MY LETTER VERY CAREFULLY BEFORE THROWING IT INTO THE DUST BIN OR REPLYING TO ME.

Now, how would you know about my low social standards? Where are you asking me to elevate them to, anyway? To a point where I start capslocking too? And where's the fun in replying if I have to read it very carefully before I do so. On top of that, why do you think I would waste the paper needed to print out this mail if only to throw it in the dustbin? Besides, you don't throw paper in the dustbin, it goes on the old paper pile. How's that for social standards?

FIRSTLY,I LIKE TO SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY FOR A NONDISCLOSURE OF ANY PART OF THE CONTENTS OF THIS LETTER WHICH IF YOU DO WILL AUTOMATICALLY RUINS ALL OUR EFFORTS TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS .

Don't worry, no-one reads my blog anymore anyways. However, I find it surprising that if I do this nondisclosure thingy of yours, it will automatically ruins all our efforts. First of all because you suddenly hop from singular to plural, of course, but that's not all. The part that puzzles me most is how I have to shout it from the rooftops for it to work.

I AM ASSURING YOU THAT I HAVE GOOD FAITH IN THIS BUSINESS AND WILL BE OF MUTUAL BENEFIT TO BOTH OF US AS LONG AS WE MAINTAIN STRICT CONFIDENTIALITY OF THE BUSINESS AND DO NOT DEVELOP IDEAS OF DISHONESTY TOWARDS EACH OTHER WHEN MONEY IS ON THE TABLE.

Say what? I think I agree here, although I probably missed whatever the hell it was you're trying to say. Just smile and nod politely, I guess.

I AM WRITING THIS LETTER TO ASK FOR YOUR FAVOUR TO ASSIST ME TO CARRY OUT A BUSINESS VENTURE WITH MY GOODSELF.

Who's your Goodself? Is it like a father? And why would I - a simple guy over in that Asian peninsula - help you - "DIRECTOR OF THE ACCOUNTS AND RECORDS DEPT.
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK" - in a business venture? Isn't that, like, your job?

I WORK IN A VERY SENSITIVE DEPARTMENT OF THE ABOVE BANK WHERE I WATCH PEOPLES BANKING RECORDS AND ACCOUNT ON A DAILY BASIS.

I do stuff with books, am looking for something else, and roleplay three nights a week. I'm glad we're getting to know one another here!

IN MY LINE OF DUTY, I HAVE BEEN WATCHING A VERY HUGE SUMS OF MONEY WHICH HAVE BEEN LYING DORMANT SINCE THE YEAR 2000 AGAINST BANKING LAWS.

Must be a busy job if you can spend 6 years watching money do nothing. And if that money is acting against banking laws, why don't you do something about it? I suggest sueing it for breaking said laws or something - it might just be a stupid idea, but then again, what do I know of banking - or law? As I said, that's your job.

THE SUM IS ($28M USD.("TWENTY EIGHT MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS ),

I'm glad you spelled it out for me - my limited intellectual capacity might not have grasped the full extent of it otherwise. However, you forgot one thing: how much is that in Euro's?

THIS AMOUNT IS IN OUR BANK'S VAULT; MONEY THAT ONCE BELONG TO ONE ASIA AMERICAN MINERALS BUSINESS DEALER WHO WAS ASSASSINATED ALONG WITH HIS WIFE IN THEIR HOTEL SUITE AT KATANGA IN THE DEMOCRATIC REUBLIC OF CONGO WHERE HE AND HIS WIFE WERE ON A BUSINESS TRIP TO BUY DIAMONDS FROM THE LOCAL REBEL TRADERS.

What, as in actual cash? I'm sorry, I haven't seen that in a while, dealing mostly with the virtual variant myself. I also noticed that you're able of giving me very specific details of the previous owner of said money. Almost enough for someone who wants to to go and check out the background story. Hell, you seem to know so much about it - are you sure you don't have anything to do with their untimely demise?

THE DEAD COUPLES DOES NOT SEEM TO HAVE ANY KNOWN FAMILY LEFT BEHIND TO CLAIM THEIR MONEY UNDER THIS CIRCUMSTANCE. THEY HAD LIVED IN AFRICA FOR 23 YEARS; THEY MAY HAVE LOST THEIR PARENTAL BACKGROUND CONTACT AND FAMILY CONNECTIONS.

I've heard living in Africa has that effect on people.

SINCE WE HEARD OF HIS DEATH, WE HAVE BEEN EXPECTING A NEXT-OF-KIN TO COME OVER TO PUT FORWARD HIS/HER CLAIMS AS THE BENEFICIARY TO THE DECEASED MAN'S FUNDS.

Who's this "we" you're talking about all of a sudden?

HOWEVER, THIS HAS NOT HAPPENED AND NO ONE HAS SINCE COME FORWARD OR EVEN WROTE A LETTER TO US TO LAY CLAIM ON THE MILLIONS LAYING IDLE IN OUR BANK

Let me terminate this never-ending-phrase right here. Did you just tell me that not only no-one has claimed the money, but on top of that, no-one hasclaimed the money? Wow, talk about shocking.

WITHOUT ANY ADENTIFIED LIVING OWNER AND THIS FUND BY LAW SHOULD BE SOON TRANSFERED TO THE CENTRAL BANK FOR THE USE OF GOVERNMENT, UNLESS SOMEONE APPLY OFFICIALLY TO CLAIM THIS SUM AS THE NEXT-OF-KIN .

"adentified"? Another word not included in my dicto. What's this transfer to central bank for government use deal anyways?

I AM WILLING TO GIVE 30% TO THE FOREIGN PARTNER AND ADDITIONAL 10% FOR ALL HIS MINOR EXPENCES WITH YOUR LAWYER WHO SHALL BY LAW REPRESENT YOU IN SIGNING ALL DOCUMENTS DURING THE PROCESSING OF THE SAID AMOUNT TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

Who's the "foreign partner"? What does he have to do with my lawyer? And wouldn't Are you proposing me to sign as next-of-kin? Why don't you just say so? And wouldn't that require me to be of Asian descent if it was to be at all believable? On top of that, that's not very high on the social standard side of things, is it?

TAKE NOTE THAT WHILE THE TRANSFER WILL BE IN PROGRESS, WE CANNOT TAKE OUT A SINGLE CENT FROM THAT AMOUNT OR AUTHORISE THE BANK TO PAY ANY PERSON FROM THE SAID AMOUNT UNTIL THE FULL TRANSFER HAS BEEN DONE AND PROCEEDS SENT DIRECTLY TO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT.

Uhm... I don't know, isn't that how banks usually work anyways? Correct me if I'm wrong here, I have no experience in banking, obviously.

YOU SHALL THEREFORE HAVE TO FIND THE MEANS TO SETTLE YOUR BILLS WITH YOUR LAWYER UNTIL YOU RECEIVE THE MONEY.

I'm sure I'll have no trouble of convincing my lawyer to just do this for me for free. We're close like that.

I HOPE THAT THIS WILL BE VIEWED IN THE CONTEXT OF A FAIR DEAL AGREEABLE TO BOTH OF US IN THE BUSINESS.

Hey, you're the one in the business. I don't work in banking. Or do you mean there are only two people in the world of banking?

PLEASE, INDICATE YOUR INTEREST TO BE MY PARTNER

But I barely know ye, good sir...

IN THIS BUSINESS IF YOU WILL,

Oh, sorry, my bad.

IN YOUR REPLY TO THIS LETTER,

That is if I decide not to dump it in the dustbin.

I WILL THEN SEND YOU A TEXT OF APPLICATION LETTER TO APPLY AS THE LEGAL NEXT OF KIN OF THIS MONEY;

Next of kin of the money? Does that mean I have to prove ties to Benjamin Franklin, Ulysses S. Grant, Andrew Jackson, Alexander Hamilton, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington?

A TEXT THAT YOU WILL FILL IN THE BLANKS AND SUBMIT TO THE APPROPRIATE BANKING DEPARTMENTS OF THE ABOVE BANK FOR NECESSARY COMMENCEMENT OF THIS TRANSACTION IN AN EMAIL ADDRESS OF THE BANK THAT I WILL SENT TO YOU.

That's a lot of work you want me to do there. Filling in blanks, e-mailing some bank...

ANY QUESTION PAPER THAT THE BANK SHALL SEND TO YOU MUST BE FORWARDED TO ME IMMEDIATELY SO THAT I CAN FILL IT MYSELVES TO AVOID MISTAKES.

Don't you trust my ability to fill in official forms? And won't the bank want an answer in less time than it takes to send mail back and forth to Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso?

I LOOK FORWARD TO RECEIVING YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE AND THANKS FOR YOUR
COOPERATION.

No problem, laddie.

BEST REGARD,
MALIK ABU.
BANK OFFICIAL

Ah, Malik Abu, that was the name.

Hope you enjoy this little filler. I might just be back soon.

See ya!

Straight out of the Sanitarium!

Aye.

I feel better today. I'll be getting back to work tomorrow. All that's really bothering me right now is my left arm, which hurts when I put too much strain on it. Damn that tetanus-shot!

In any case, I rested up well today, but I'll have to get up early again tomorrow, especially since I'll have to take PT instead of my bike, which is still over there. Ah well.

I managed to get most of the dried blood out of my hair - I can't wash it untill the stitch has done its work - but it wasn't pretty. I mean, jeez!

It's still 305 K outside, even at 21:30. Yay!

I think I'll be spending some more time doing nothing before going to bed today.

See ya!

Okay, let's do this again.

It's been a while, and it's taken a day on which I took a serious blow to the head, but here I am again, telling you what's going on.

The story is, not much. The second round for the Chaos Arena Championships were cancelled and are being rescheduled as we speak. I will be rolling up a new character for a Greyhawk setting this Thursday (dwarven rogue, this time), I'm pretty much moving forward in the preparations for my own d20 Modern campaign (I only need the players...), and, well, I've been doing some radio-related stuff too, and some other little things of little importance.

And then, of course, today, I had that little accident at work and had to pay a visit to the hospital, getting a single - yes, that's 1, as in one - stitch on the back of my head. I did lose a decent amount of blood to warrant the need of just the one stitch, though. I'm guessing I'll stay at home tomorrow, see how things end up.

See ya!

Hello Kitty for President!

Oh dear, what a week.

I'm going to have quite a shock on Monday when I have to wake up at 06:00, as this week, I so far haven't managed to get out of bed prior to 11:00 yet... Ouch.

Anyways, I've been laying low this week, doing not much noteworthy. I have been watching a bit of the cycling (i.e. the TV was on while I was busy reading), and the World Cup has gone in such a way that my colleagues probably won't be bothering me about it once I get back (although Sunday's result might make it even easier on that one), and I've been reading up on d20 Modern, so I can eventually run my own game. That pretty much sums up all the 'news' for the week.

Anyways, as this is pretty much all I have to say for the day, I'll leave it at this.

See ya!

Nekophilia: The love of Japanese Cats

Ah! Ah ah ahah!

Or, to continue in the style of one of the final Karaoke Songs from last night (well, this morning): "Na na nanana nana na na na nana nana naaaaaaaaa".

Yes, this weekend was the Anime-con. It was fantastic. Since I left my bed last Thursday at 12:30, I haven't slept more than 7 hours in total (in fact, I think it was around 6 1/2), but it was well worth it!

I spent a lot of money there obviously. Got myself a nice stack of round little things that apparently display images and give out sounds when inserted into a specially made device. I even got some with only sound coming out, but that's a different matter. Got some other nice little pieces of merchandising too, such as Chobits Action Figures, Card Captor Sakura playing cards and a Hello Kitty phone-bag. I spent the first night at the Japanese Disco Event, spent the second night at the Karaoke (Woohoo!), did the Kimono workshop, visited the Drama Queen infopanel (...), and so forth.

Anyways, I'm living under the impression that I'll be sleeping late tomorrow.

Anyways, I'll leave it here for the day.

See ya!

Moderate to Good

I really need to do something here again. It's been way too long, hasn't it?

The fair was tiring, especially as we didn't really have quite enough time to recover from the previous one.

Besides that there was role-playing last Thursday, when we almost lost another party-member (from the same player who had already lost his first one, in fact). The party's starting to get to the end of it's resources, right about now. Damn!

Saturday was my qualifying match for the Chaos Arena Championships, which saw me through to the quarter finals. Although I had made a slight miscalculation in my opponent, my offensive tactics did pay off in the end. I had sent my Mage, after having him totally buffed, to the front line, doing massive damage before my main troops got in there. I retained my advantage to the end, although my opponent also made two pretty bad errors at pivotal points in the game, which could have cost me greatly. My next match is on the 15th of July, then.

My vacation started today. I took the opportunity to remain in bed untill, well, 13:30-ish. It's not 'till Friday that I head for the Anime-con, so untill then, I'll see how I can entertain myself. Woohoo!

See ya!